Thursday, 12 May 2016

Love that sets you free

It is often said that people cease to experience love as cynicism creeps in once they grow out of the fairy tale image of love they held so close to their hearts all through their teens and early twenties. I believe otherwise. Love is not meant to begin at its peak. It is meant to grow as people get to explore different facets of each others' personality. The imbecilic idea of trying to cage & segregate a person for one believes that one holds the sole right over a person without even seeking the other person's permission is repulsive to the core. Love is meant to be the anchor that sets a person free from all that held back a person, to let the person know that there is always someone s/he can hold on to or come back to while trying to move ahead of all impediments they come across in their pursuit of excellence. Love is not the destination. It is your companion in your journey, a journey in pursuit of excellence, of constantly reinventing, of learning & unlearning to sharpen the skills that you possessed and instilling and inculcating the ones you didn't.

A love that wants to possess, impede & cage is not love for the other person but of oneself. It tries to complete the self without any regard for the apparent object of one's affection. The inanity of this idea of love is that it tries to create a mirage of righteousness around the relentless pursuit of a disinterested person. "She doesn't even know that I exist but she is my property. Nobody should dare appreciate her. Everyone humiliating her would please me even further as she is my personal property. Mind you, I never sought her permission for this and neither do I have any such intentions. I shall only impose and impede as I have decided I am in love and my will shall prevail." This primitive idea of seeking self-worth in whether you are eventually able to impose your will on someone's life or not is still some people's idea of love. It finds acceptance even among those close to that person as exactly the kind of love that needs to be supported and propagated.

Another aspect of this that I firmly believe in is that nobody is supposed to be stopped from what they want to do in pursuit of their happiness. I believe in setting people free. Whether or not that person chooses to have you in your life is a choice that rests with that person. If you are not the one, you are not. This should be accepted gracefully. This a not a newfound pearl of wisdom. I have held this belief for a long time now while some may find it difficult to understand. It is unlikely to be comprehensible to those who only believe in their mad pursuit of a person whether or not that person finds happiness with you. Such people are obsessed with the inane belief that one's happiness is the same as that of the other. If you truly love someone, give them the right to be happy, to live a life they want to live and not the one you want to impose on them. A love that sets people free.....

Do seek a person's permission to be a part of his / her life, to be able to add to it and not to take something away.

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