Pain of loss

We are wired to feel pain,
Physical, emotional or mental,
Anxiety manifests itself in all forms,
The agony though rears its head only if you lose what is yours;
What if you never had that you mourn the loss of,
Would you still feel the pain?
Is it logical?
It be said though that agony defies logic,
If logic could cure your pain, there won't exist the entity termed 'pain'
Alas! Pain exists and it is for real;

Treading back to the question of pain without right,
Of sorrow sans an anchor in reality,
Of what is ephemeral and surreal,
Are we supposed to mourn such a loss?
Traverse to the moment that marked the onset of the dream that got ripped apart,
Let your mind know this was just momentary,
For that's the only way to cure it if you ever felt it,
Thy shall let agony heal,
Empathize you will with everyone who feels the pain without right,
Sorrow sans moorings in the domain real,
Of what never existed,
You must though move on,
For you should never feel the pain of a loss over an entity that you never possessed for it to be lost;
All those who feel this are united in their agony,
Remember though it is but expected that you break the shackles of the surreal,
Enter the realm of the real,
Let serenity and tranquility prevail,
Let thy pain heal,
Turn away from malice that tries to scratch a wound that has healed yet may hurt again,
Not for nothing is time sought for a wound to heal,
Smile,
For the smile is truly yours,
The pain was never yours to feel.

You will have to wait

A woman is only meant to wait,
Her fate hangs in balance over every word she says,
It is the men who decide her fate,
she is only supposed to wait;

Wait till the final decision is taken,
wait as a choice is made,
but you are supposed to wait,
you may not know the people that try to write your life's story,
You may have seen people who chose to create a mirage for your eyes,
You are supposed to remember them, live and die for them,
Think of them each day of your life,
Not knowing whether they care or wish to return,
but you are supposed to wait;

Wait as these are the men who shall decide your fate,
They will deliberate,
decide whether she stands tall enough,
If this is a rich enough masquerade of clothes that she carries,
the one that cloaks the malice beneath in women that I appreciate,
but the one that I hold in esteem above all else,
Everything simple I disdain;
That's not all that will seal your fate, I have more to badger you and humiliate,
Is the fat on her body more than what I prefer,
Does she smell right or not?
Wait as I decide your fate;
Hold me in your heart,
Live and die for me;
You shall have to wait,
You won't know whether I will ever come back
You are hereby ordained to wait;
Don't you be fooled into any feeling of self-worth,
I have a cache of women to judge,
I have the right to humiliate you,
You are the one who is supposed to wait,
My emotions don't exist but you are supposed to wait for a stranger,
For that is your fate,
You are a nobody,
It is my will that shall prevail,
While I am on a sabbatical,
Onto another of my ego trips;
Wherein I am the one who calls the shots,
I am looking for someone for you to be replaced,
For you were never indispensable;
But you shall have to keep me deeply ensconced in your mind and heart,
Don't you dare forget,
For I may never return but you better wait;
Immerse yourself in sorrow, don't you dare smile;
For it is your fate to live and die in sorrow,
The sorrow of unrequited love,
You are not supposed to laugh and smile,
You shall have to wait,
I will decide months or years later,
If I shall ever come back,
For that is my prerogative,
but such is your fate that you are supposed to wait.

Be everything that I expect you to be,
Your fate will always hang in balance;
I can use any word you say against you,
For you were never indispensable,
Don't be fooled into any feeling of self-worth;
Just when you do,
I will show you your true place,
For you are only supposed to wait;
That's the fait accompli,
Don't dare raise your voice,
Don't think of yourself as anything but ordinary;
Such is your fate,
Just wait, wait and wait.

At peace with oneself

This day has brought me happiness after long,
No it's not someone else,
It's just me having made peace with myself;
It was the easiest of things to do,
Quite often though the simplest of tasks require an effort beyond the ordinary.

 I smile today, not an affected smile for the world,
But the one that comes from deep within,
From peace that I have felt after long,
For I have made peace with myself.

My cheerful demeanour and the calm within that I have found,
Don't owe it to a factor extraneous,
Just the extant and inherent peace that comes when you make peace with yourself,
After long I have finally made peace with myself.

This is a day of joy indeed,
For I have yet again gathered my resilience,
I smile again, yet again and I move on,
For I have made peace with myself,
The world seems beautiful again,
It's not someone else,
Just me having made peace with myself.

There's no hatred that erodes the happiness and corrodes the essence of my being,
For I have found peace within,
This indeed is a joyous moment,
I always remind myself that hatred kills you more than it hurts someone else's being,
Today is indeed a great day,
For I have found peace within,
I am finally at peace.... with myself!

The logic of Match Making

Love makes people do things that they would not do otherwise. People like to align their dreams, to travel  thousands of miles to be with the person they have chosen for themselves. This is when you have chosen a person after honestly analyzing a person. This is a decision of both the mind and the heart. Honesty is at the core of it. Does a person who tries to fool you with a fake identity qualify for this? The focus is on an 'honest assessment'. This, though, would be a digression from the premise of writing this post.

The logic of cold calculation where the only criteria is whether somebody is heading out of the country or not escapes me. A man and a woman deciding to move out of one country to any other country in the world makes them the material for matchmaking? You plan to stay in the country, one person is thrust upon you; a few days later you plan on going abroad to study, another person would be thrust upon you. Mind you, this is also subject to change depending on which city you are in & the one you plan to take up a job in even in India. I guess a lot of people find it logical. I find it absurd, outrageous and comical. As far as I know, people choose to unite with a person if they so wish, it isn't the other way round. A person doesn't need a 'suitable prospective partner' to tag along just because one is going somewhere. People travel miles and align their dreams with that of their partners.

Ideology Vs. Change

Political parties often come into existence based on an ideology; which inevitably is the ideology of its most prominent founding member. Everything that the party does in the future is supposed to pander to that ideology or to the narcissism of the one who brought the party into existence . You play to the gallery for your constituency, those who identify with that ideology, after all they form the vote bank and what is a political party if it cannot get votes. It will stare into oblivion if it ceases to appeal to those that back the party for its 'ideology'.

A pertinent question to ask in reference to ideology is whether a thought process is relevant for eternity; Is an ordinary person, much less a politician a prisoner of what they believed to be the perfect 'ideology' a decade back. Isn't change the only constant? Ideology is for the fanatics. Dynamic people are open to new ideas, new set of beliefs. It is a given that these ideas will be scrutinized but you ought to hold your ground and move ahead with the new set of beliefs that now augment your 'core ideology'. For political parties it is important to sell this to their vote bank. This change in ideology may also draw a new set of voters for you. One thing is certain though, if winning is important, you will always have to take your chances to break new ground.

It works for individuals in an analogous manner. Either you become a trailblazer with little regard for others' opinion or you try to win over others by bringing in the changes gradually. This only brings to the fore yet again that if you want to live a successful life it is always mind over emotions. Think, act and then let the emotions take over. Emotional outburst should not precede thought and action.

There is no particular ideology that is right. If it is important for the group that you represent, make sure you sell it well. Else, loners never needed anyone.

Is silence golden?

Even a free-spirited person lost in one's reveries and constantly pondering over ways of making even the most outlandish dreams come true finds oneself in circumstances that are not of one's making. Either you wade your way past it as the situation unravels before you or you fill yourself with rage once you are well past it. The first alternative allows for intelligent manoeuvring while the latter makes you play into the hands of others. While you may still be in a position to manage the situation if you remain calm but the unhindered rage within that demands an outlet for its expression is likely to play spoilsport. Rage blinds even the unassuming. Even if you are filled with rage the only option is to let not the haze of outrage blind you. An unfavourable situation needs to be turned into the one that is to your advantage. This can only come with a pragmatic & objective approach. Keep aside the emotions even if rage is all that you feel. Wait and watch. Wriggle out of the situation and make sure your enemies suffer not you.

People may have fooled you this time but there will always be a next time. Be ready for it coz it is not just likely but certain. No one should find out what you actually feel about the person from your words and the expressions on your face. Time and channel your anger. Play as everyone else does. It it disinterests you, don't be the one to start the game but once the game has begun, better play and win.

Love that sets you free

It is often said that people cease to experience love as cynicism creeps in once they grow out of the fairy tale image of love they held so close to their hearts all through their teens and early twenties. I believe otherwise. Love is not meant to begin at its peak. It is meant to grow as people get to explore different facets of each others' personality. The imbecilic idea of trying to cage & segregate a person for one believes that one holds the sole right over a person without even seeking the other person's permission is repulsive to the core. Love is meant to be the anchor that sets a person free from all that held back a person, to let the person know that there is always someone s/he can hold on to or come back to while trying to move ahead of all impediments they come across in their pursuit of excellence. Love is not the destination. It is your companion in your journey, a journey in pursuit of excellence, of constantly reinventing, of learning & unlearning to sharpen the skills that you possessed and instilling and inculcating the ones you didn't.

A love that wants to possess, impede & cage is not love for the other person but of oneself. It tries to complete the self without any regard for the apparent object of one's affection. The inanity of this idea of love is that it tries to create a mirage of righteousness around the relentless pursuit of a disinterested person. "She doesn't even know that I exist but she is my property. Nobody should dare appreciate her. Everyone humiliating her would please me even further as she is my personal property. Mind you, I never sought her permission for this and neither do I have any such intentions. I shall only impose and impede as I have decided I am in love and my will shall prevail." This primitive idea of seeking self-worth in whether you are eventually able to impose your will on someone's life or not is still some people's idea of love. It finds acceptance even among those close to that person as exactly the kind of love that needs to be supported and propagated.

Another aspect of this that I firmly believe in is that nobody is supposed to be stopped from what they want to do in pursuit of their happiness. I believe in setting people free. Whether or not that person chooses to have you in your life is a choice that rests with that person. If you are not the one, you are not. This should be accepted gracefully. This a not a newfound pearl of wisdom. I have held this belief for a long time now while some may find it difficult to understand. It is unlikely to be comprehensible to those who only believe in their mad pursuit of a person whether or not that person finds happiness with you. Such people are obsessed with the inane belief that one's happiness is the same as that of the other. If you truly love someone, give them the right to be happy, to live a life they want to live and not the one you want to impose on them. A love that sets people free.....

Do seek a person's permission to be a part of his / her life, to be able to add to it and not to take something away.